Books a Million: https://www.booksamillion.com/p/9781644117224
Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meeting-the-shadow-on-the-spiritual-path-connie-zweig/1141812056
THE NEW AUDIOBOOK IS AVAILABLE NOW:
Simon & Schuster: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Meeting-the-Shadow-on-the-Spiritual-Path/Connie-Zweig/9781797162980
SEE INTERVIEWS AND WORKSHOPS ON MEETING THE SHADOW BELOW:
THE INNER WORK OF AGE WON 3 AWARDS: “Award Winner in the Nonfiction Inspirational category of the 2021 Best Book Awards sponsored by American Book Fest”
BEST INDIE BOOK AWARD IN INSPIRATIONAL NON-FICTION/AGING!!
NAUTILUS GOLD IN AGING!!
IT’S IN STOCK ON AMAZON AND BARNES&NOBLE:
Barnes and Noble online and in stores: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-inner-work-of-age-connie-zweig/1138639454?ean=9781644113400
Video Introduction to Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path:
Intro to award-winning AGE book:
2023 THE BEST Conversation about MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH
with Roger Wash on Deep Transformation podcast:
Part 1: https://deeptransformation.io/connie-zweig-1-shadow-on-the-spiritual-path
Part 2: https://deeptransformation.io/connie-zweig-2-shadow-on-the-spiritual-path
2023 Interview with Selina Matthews on Soul Transformation podcast:
https://riverside.fm/studio/dr-selina-matthews-3?t=071380e2b35f2f887737
May 2023 Interview on Shrink Rap Radio about Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path:
AGE VIDEOS FOR YOU
OCTOBER 24-28, 2022: FREE EVENT ON THE INNER WORK OF AGE with Connie Zweig, HOSTED BY HUMANITY RISING, ONLINE DAILY BROADCAST
WITH BILL MCKIBBEN, MARC FREEDMAN, RICHARD LEIDER, ASHTON APPLEWHITE, ROSHI JOAN HALIFAX, ROBERT THURMAN, THOMAS MOORE, MANY MORE.
Day 1: Ageism from the Inside Out and from the Outside Out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2Z_Hvb4ygE
Day 2: What Can One Person Do? The Moral Voice of the Elder in Tumultuous Times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAiliEoP5PY
Day 3: Retirement from the Inside Out and from the Outside In
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1B-nuX9IoM
Day 4: Reimagining the Elder for Our Cultural Moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBBxj1HV2uk
Day 5: The Spiritual Purpose of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL1GR0h5R2s
Inner Work/Outer Work for the Climate Crisis: From Anxiety to Action
I hosted this fantastic event on psychology and climate:
2023 ONLINE EVENTS: MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH
AND INNER WORK OF AGE
April 17, 11:00-12:30 PDT, Association for Spiritual Integrity, Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path. Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aj5GbDWvkI
World Wisdom Perspectives on Aging and Spirituality:
8 webinars from Feb.-Aug. 2023:
June 20 My webinar for this series: Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path.
Register ahead here: https://conta.cc/3hiIbNR
TURNING POINTS INTERVIEW for Sage-ing International Here:
June 1, Lecture on Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path for Theosophical Society, starts streaming on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKn8UXvcvWW9Dql2ppPDtEQ
June 12, Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path on Humanity Rising, free, global live broadcast.
June 8, 2:00 PST, Rebel Spirit Radio.
June 7, 14, 21, 28: Shadow-work: Finding Gold in the Dark Side,
4-part public webinar series hosted by Pacifica Graduate Institute.
Class 1: Meeting the Shadow.
Class 2: Shadow-boxing in Relationships.
Class 3: Reviewing your Lived and Unlived Life in the Shadow.
Class 4: Meeting the Shadow on the Spiritual Path.
REGISTER HERE: https://retreat.pacifica.edu/shadow-work/
June 15, 5:00 PDT, The Myth Salon. MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
A Free, Live Presentation and Discussion of my new book with Buddhist teacher David Chernikoff, editor of What is Enlightenment magazine Carter Phipps, depth psychologist Aaron Kipnis, and mythologist Dennis Slattery.
Register here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_h9vZNUJqTYijPGmd8-BvNQ
June 19, Spirit Matters Podcast interview.
June 20, Webinar on MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH for Sage-ing International. See link Above.
June 22, 4:00 PT, Empty Bell, interfaith community, MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
https://www.emptybell.org/events/
June 27, COMPLETING SPIRITUAL UNFINISHED BUSINESS, interview with Dori Mintzer,
info to come.
July 3, 11:00 PST, Destiny Pod podcast
July 5, 4:00 pm PST, Barry Eva podcast
July 13, 10:00-11:00 PST, Houston Jung Community of Elders, GIFTS OF A LIFE REVIEW OF YOUR LIVED AND UNLIVED LIFE:
https://junghouston.app.neoncrm.com/event.jsp?event=10488&
July 22, 10:00-11:30 PST, Houston Jung Society, MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
https://junghouston.app.neoncrm.com/event.jsp?event=10489&
August 25, St. Louis Jung Society, MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
Link to come
Sept. 9, Connecticut Jung Society, MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
Info to come.
Sept. 16, 9:30-11:30 PST, Phoenix Jung Society, MEETING THE SHADOW ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH.
Link to come.
Sept. 22, ROLE TO SOUL, San Francisco Jung Society, info to come.
Sept. 29, 12:00-1:30, LA County Psych Association special interest group, LIFE REVIEW.
Link to come
Nov. 11, Rose Sangha, ROLE TO SOUL. Info to come.
Nov. 18, 10;00 am-1:00 pm PST, CIIS public programs, LIFE REVIEW OF YOUR LIVED AND UNLIVED LIFE. link to come.
An interview on THE INNER WORK OF AGE for Deep Transformation podcast with Roger Walsh:
Connie Zweig – The World Needs Elders: How Inner Work Transforms Aging into a Developmental Process, a Life Culmination, and a Gift
Listen to my interview about aging into awakening on Buddha at the Gas Pump:
BeHereNow podcast:
Mindrolling – Raghu Markus – Ep. 429 – Shifting from Role to Soul with Connie Zweig, PhD
Meaningful Life podcast interview with Andrew G. Marshall:
https://themeaningfullife.podbean.com/e/dr-connie-zweig-podcast/
Modern Sage podcast interview:
New Dimensions Radio interview:
Becoming a True Wisdom Elder with Connie Zweig, Ph.D.
Rebel Spirit Radio podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNQT5oBgpAk
Destiny podcast interview: https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/49084213/download.mp3
Check out a new interview on public radio here: https://www.mynspr.org/
Listen to this fantastic interview on Revolutionize Your Retirement: https://revolutionizeretirement.com/
Changing of the Gods video: Myths of Age
on the Myth Salon:
NO BS SPIRITUAL BOOK CLUB: MY 10 BEST SPIRITUAL BOOKS:
Podcasts for your listening pleasure:
The Sacred Speaks:
podcast with EngAge. Listen here:
https://www.youtube.com/c/EngagedagingOrg
podcast on SpiritMatters:
Connie Zweig
THE INNER WORK OF AGE: Crossing the threshold into late life can feel like a high-wire act without a net. But, if you are retiring or rewiring, ill or caregiving, feeling purposeful or disoriented, yearning to serve or do spiritual practice, you can learn to cross over from denial to awareness, from distraction to presence, from role to soul.
I am extending my work on the Shadow into late life for people 50+ who want to move past denial, fear, and resistance to discover their dreams and opportunities for this stage of life. My mission: to redefine “age” and to help others reimagine it as a spiritual journey.
I am blogging excerpts on Medium at https://medium.com/@conniezweig
Ongoing 12-part online course: Meeting and Romancing Your Shadow — my complete body of work — continues on Spiritualityandpractice.com
See why I’m writing about AGE:
https://medium.com/@conniezweig/age-by-the-numbers-a-remarkable-untold-story-5d7402646491
My Interview with Ken Wilber: He calls on Elders to Grow Up, Clean Up, Wake Up, and Show Up:
Follow me on Medium to get more excerpts of the next book: https://medium.com/@conniezweig/a-call-to-grow-up-clean-up-wake-up-show-up-2bd42ff2c683
My interview with mythologist Michael Meade on Reinventing the Elder: https://medium.com/@conniezweig/reinventing-the-elder-today-b110e17f72f4
An Interview with Chant leader Krishna Das, Wizard Behind the Kirtan
https://medium.com/@conniezweig
A Conversation with Spiritual Elder Anna Douglas, Buddhist Meditation teacher, co-founder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center
This is part of my series of interviews with Spiritual Elders for my new book.
After three decades of teaching mindfulness at Spirit Rock in Northern California and in Tucson, Az., Anna, at 78, has turned her attention to Buddhist teachings about age and death. In our conversation, I asked her why.
“I used to live in New York and observe older people sitting on benches in the park. It would annoy me. I would ask myself, “What’s wrong with them? Why don’t they do something. I had judgment. . . .Now I’m one of them.” (In my language, Anna had discovered her inner ageist.) She continued.
“The changes in my own body, brain, and energy level are more noticeable now, and I don’t want to do much. I don’t want to multi-task. I’m more easily satisfied with what’s here, now.
“Also, many Baby Boomers over 60 are coming to Spirit Rock for retreats, motivated by their suffering about ageing and seeking a practice and a framework to deal with it. So, there’s great consciousness raising when we’re in the room together.”
I asked her to explain how the Buddha’s teachings might help with the physical, mental, and emotional changes of late life. “We’re finding the dharma now to be less remote and more profoundly useful. As an example, let’s take the three marks or characteristics of existence: First, suffering is built into life. We want it to be different, we want a younger body. But our task is to accept that our physical aging is natural, not a failure.
“Next, impermanence: Everything is temporary. All physical and mental things are in flux, emerging and dissolving. Human life embodies this flux in the aging process of decaying and dying. But, again, we want it to be permanent, which creates a lot of suffering. So, our task is to see that it’s all impermanent and work toward accepting that truth.
“Third, we are empty, without an essential self. But we constantly seek a permanent sense of self in our longings, our work, our creations, our children. With aging, our roles and self-images disappear. Our contributions may lessen. The solid sense of self can be seen through more easily as transparent, empty.
“With aging, our suffering, impermanence, and emptiness become more real, more obvious. The root of it is in our identification with the body. But if we experience unconditioned mind or pure awareness in meditation, then we’re not so lost. Then we can find an opening to awakening. As the Buddha put it, ‘Though the body is sick, let not the mind be sick.’ That means, train the mind in well-being and just notice the passing forms in the world.”
I wondered aloud how mindfulness practice changes as we age. “Mindfulness is an invitation to do one thing– breathe, be present, notice. In late life, it becomes easier because we’re not so busy with our desires. Our longings have quieted down a bit. And our physical and mental activity slows naturally.”
Anna spoke about how her experience of teaching mindfulness has changed over the decades. “It’s taken a long time to find my voice as a woman in a patriarchal tradition. Now I have a sense of love and genuineness when I teach because my life experience and spiritual practice made me ripe. Aging settles us, makes us more authentic, which is what older people need — to become who we always were.”
“Has your sense of time changed?” I asked.
“This time is a rich period of practice. The future is not visible; it doesn’t exist. So, the work is not about the future. I’m feeling the gift of life, the blessing of experience,” she told me.
“And the biggest surprise for you?”
“When I look back and review my life now, I can see all of the plans and agendas that I tried to force into happening. But my ego’s agendas went nowhere. When I lived in Santa Monica and worked as a therapist, I just happened to see a flier for a talk by Joseph Goldstein. I walked into a small shed with ten people and heard the Four Noble Truths for the first time. I recognized it immediately as my path — and headed off to Barre, Massachusetts to the center there. When I returned to California and opened Spirit Rock together with the other teachers, it was a great adventure — and much better than anything I could have planned. I see now that things had to happen that way.”
I asked if she wanted to add anything about the dharma of aging.
“Stay in your seat to develop stability of mind, to keep from getting swept away by thoughts. And reflect on ownership — my and mine. So you practice letting go of thoughts, feelings, people, and things. Aging requires letting go, and meditation can help us to cultivate that practice.”
Anna is helping to shepherd new young teachers into Spirit Rock Meditation Center, so that the legacy continues. They offer Buddhist meditation courses to families, teens, women, men, and Baby Boomers.
Dancing with Shadows:
A Conversation With Connie Zweig
Interview originally published in Psychology Today
For the past 30 years, Dr. Connie Zweig has been a pioneer in fields of shadow work and meditation practice. The founder of the Center for Shadow Work and Spiritual Counseling of the AIWP, she received her doctorate in depth psychology, trained at the Los Angeles Jung Institute, and has been in private practice in Los Angeles for over two decades, helping thousands of people detect unconscious sources of secret feelings and behaviors, and transform them into positive, constructive patterns. Dr. Zweig is the author of A Moth to the Flame, and co-author of two seminal books in the field, Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow. We spoke recently about the secret wisdom to be found in the shadow, and how to bring mindfulness to our forbidden zones, as well as compassion, on the path to of authenticity.
Mark Matousek: How should we think about authenticity when the “self” is made up of so many inconsistent parts?
Connie Zweig: We have all had the experience of a shadow character or part of ourselves erupting in spontaneous anger, lying, greed, or feelings of jealousy. We recognize the eruption in a critical comment we don’t mean to make, or in a repetitive fight with our partner, or some unacceptable behavior we can’t understand. Those parts are in all of us, and they are formed in our childhood through what psychology calls “defenses.” Sometimes those parts are repressed and sometimes they are projected onto others, but these forbidden feelings are unacceptable to our self-image and typically denied by the ego. “That’s immoral—I’d never do that,” or “That’s impolite.”
Most people are aware that there is some part of them correcting other parts, but they may not be aware of a higher self or what we could call an intuitive self. It’s the part that allows us to come back into equilibrium, and learn how to observe the shadow parts. To observe and do shadow work, we need the experience of being centered in a higher self. That is why our spiritual practice is so pivotal.
Without space inside our minds to observe forbidden feelings and behaviors, they take over. When they do, we feel controlled and overshadowed by them. For example, the moment you feel road rage and flip the finger at another driver, you lose your center and capacity to witness. In your anger, you’re unconsciously identified with that shadow figure. My work is about teaching people how to break that resultant unconscious identification of “I’m bad,” or “I’m an angry person,” and come back to the center. They learn to have a relationship with that part, and dialogue with that part, in order to recognize that it is not the essence of who they are as spiritual beings. And in this way, they connect to their authentic selves.
DEC. 2-4, THE INNER WORK OF AGE CONTINUES: BECOMING A GOOD ANCESTOR
ONLINE SYMPOSIUM WITH JEAN SHINODA BOLEN, KEN WILBER, BILL MCKIBBEN, DENNIS SLATTERY, FANNY BREWSTER, ROB HOPCKE, AND MORE.
FOR MORE EVENTS, SEE BELOW THE INTERVIEW
A New Interview with Dr. Mark Goulston:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-362-connie-zweig/id1439752757?i=1000569441212
A new interview on Deep Transformation podcast with Roger Walsh:
Connie Zweig – The World Needs Elders: How Inner Work Transforms Aging into a Developmental Process, a Life Culmination, and a Gift
Listen to my interview about aging into awakening on Buddha at the Gas Pump:
BeHereNow podcast:
Mindrolling – Raghu Markus – Ep. 429 – Shifting from Role to Soul with Connie Zweig, PhD
Meaningful Life podcast interview with Andrew G. Marshall:
https://themeaningfullife.podbean.com/e/dr-connie-zweig-podcast/
Modern Sage podcast interview:
New Dimensions Radio interview:
Becoming a True Wisdom Elder with Connie Zweig, Ph.D.
Rebel Spirit Radio podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNQT5oBgpAk
Destiny podcast interview: https://api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/49084213/download.mp3
Check out a new interview on public radio here: https://www.mynspr.org/
Listen to this fantastic interview on Revolutionize Your Retirement: https://revolutionizeretirement.com/
Changing of the Gods video: Myths of Age
on the Myth Salon:
NO BS SPIRITUAL BOOK CLUB: MY 10 BEST SPIRITUAL BOOKS:
ONLINE WORKSHOPS:
2022:
October 24, 25, 26, 27, 28: 8:00-9:30 PST, HUMANITY RISING 5-DAY EVENT ON
INNER WORK OF AGE!! WITH BILL MCKIBBEN, MARC FREEDMAN, RICHARD LEIDER, ASHTON APPLEWHITE, ROSHI JOAN HALIFAX, ROBERT THURMAN, MIRABAI BUSH, BILL THOMAS, MANY MORE
Oct. 14: Jung Society of Montreal, 4:00-6:00 PST: info: https://sites.google.com/site/cgjungmontreal/
link to come
Nov 11, 4:00-6:00 pm PST: Inner Work for Retirement: Shifting from Role to Soul
Sarasota Jung Society: sarasotajung.org
December 2-4:
ONLINE NATIONAL CONFERENCE: THE INNER WORK OF AGE CONTINUES: BECOMING A GOOD ANCESTOR
hosted by Pacifica Graduate Institute,
KEYNOTES by Jean Shinoda Bolen, Ken Wilber, Bill McKibben, Dennis Slattery
Stellar speakers on the depth psychology of age and Day 3 on the climate crisis for Elders.
The Inner Work of Age Continues: Becoming a Good Ancestor
2023
Jan. 19, 11:00 PDT, London Jungian Society, LIFE REVIEW: link to come
Podcasts for your listening pleasure:
Sept. 2021: The Sacred Speaks:
Sept 2021 podcast with EngAge. Listen here:
https://www.youtube.com/c/EngagedagingOrg
Sept 2021 podcast on SpiritMatters:
Connie Zweig
THE INNER WORK OF AGE: Crossing the threshold into late life can feel like a high-wire act without a net. But, if you are retiring or rewiring, ill or caregiving, feeling purposeful or disoriented, yearning to serve or do spiritual practice, you can learn to cross over from denial to awareness, from distraction to presence, from role to soul.
I am extending my work on the Shadow into late life for people 50+ who want to move past denial, fear, and resistance to discover their dreams and opportunities for this stage of life. My mission: to redefine “age” and to help others reimagine it as a spiritual journey.
I am blogging excerpts on Medium at https://medium.com/@conniezweig
Ongoing 12-part online course: Meeting and Romancing Your Shadow — my complete body of work — continues on Spiritualityandpractice.com
See why I’m writing about AGE:
https://medium.com/@conniezweig/age-by-the-numbers-a-remarkable-untold-story-5d7402646491
My Interview with Ken Wilber: He calls on Elders to Grow Up, Clean Up, Wake Up, and Show Up:
Follow me on Medium to get more excerpts of the next book: https://medium.com/@conniezweig/a-call-to-grow-up-clean-up-wake-up-show-up-2bd42ff2c683
My interview with mythologist Michael Meade on Reinventing the Elder: https://medium.com/@conniezweig/reinventing-the-elder-today-b110e17f72f4
An Interview with Chant leader Krishna Das, Wizard Behind the Kirtan
https://medium.com/@conniezweig
A Conversation with Spiritual Elder Anna Douglas, Buddhist Meditation teacher, co-founder of Spirit Rock Meditation Center
This is part of my series of interviews with Spiritual Elders for my new book.
After three decades of teaching mindfulness at Spirit Rock in Northern California and in Tucson, Az., Anna, at 78, has turned her attention to Buddhist teachings about age and death. In our conversation, I asked her why.
“I used to live in New York and observe older people sitting on benches in the park. It would annoy me. I would ask myself, “What’s wrong with them? Why don’t they do something. I had judgment. . . .Now I’m one of them.” (In my language, Anna had discovered her inner ageist.) She continued.
“The changes in my own body, brain, and energy level are more noticeable now, and I don’t want to do much. I don’t want to multi-task. I’m more easily satisfied with what’s here, now.
“Also, many Baby Boomers over 60 are coming to Spirit Rock for retreats, motivated by their suffering about ageing and seeking a practice and a framework to deal with it. So, there’s great consciousness raising when we’re in the room together.”
I asked her to explain how the Buddha’s teachings might help with the physical, mental, and emotional changes of late life. “We’re finding the dharma now to be less remote and more profoundly useful. As an example, let’s take the three marks or characteristics of existence: First, suffering is built into life. We want it to be different, we want a younger body. But our task is to accept that our physical aging is natural, not a failure.
“Next, impermanence: Everything is temporary. All physical and mental things are in flux, emerging and dissolving. Human life embodies this flux in the aging process of decaying and dying. But, again, we want it to be permanent, which creates a lot of suffering. So, our task is to see that it’s all impermanent and work toward accepting that truth.
“Third, we are empty, without an essential self. But we constantly seek a permanent sense of self in our longings, our work, our creations, our children. With aging, our roles and self-images disappear. Our contributions may lessen. The solid sense of self can be seen through more easily as transparent, empty.
“With aging, our suffering, impermanence, and emptiness become more real, more obvious. The root of it is in our identification with the body. But if we experience unconditioned mind or pure awareness in meditation, then we’re not so lost. Then we can find an opening to awakening. As the Buddha put it, ‘Though the body is sick, let not the mind be sick.’ That means, train the mind in well-being and just notice the passing forms in the world.”
I wondered aloud how mindfulness practice changes as we age. “Mindfulness is an invitation to do one thing– breathe, be present, notice. In late life, it becomes easier because we’re not so busy with our desires. Our longings have quieted down a bit. And our physical and mental activity slows naturally.”
Anna spoke about how her experience of teaching mindfulness has changed over the decades. “It’s taken a long time to find my voice as a woman in a patriarchal tradition. Now I have a sense of love and genuineness when I teach because my life experience and spiritual practice made me ripe. Aging settles us, makes us more authentic, which is what older people need — to become who we always were.”
“Has your sense of time changed?” I asked.
“This time is a rich period of practice. The future is not visible; it doesn’t exist. So, the work is not about the future. I’m feeling the gift of life, the blessing of experience,” she told me.
“And the biggest surprise for you?”
“When I look back and review my life now, I can see all of the plans and agendas that I tried to force into happening. But my ego’s agendas went nowhere. When I lived in Santa Monica and worked as a therapist, I just happened to see a flier for a talk by Joseph Goldstein. I walked into a small shed with ten people and heard the Four Noble Truths for the first time. I recognized it immediately as my path — and headed off to Barre, Massachusetts to the center there. When I returned to California and opened Spirit Rock together with the other teachers, it was a great adventure — and much better than anything I could have planned. I see now that things had to happen that way.”
I asked if she wanted to add anything about the dharma of aging.
“Stay in your seat to develop stability of mind, to keep from getting swept away by thoughts. And reflect on ownership — my and mine. So you practice letting go of thoughts, feelings, people, and things. Aging requires letting go, and meditation can help us to cultivate that practice.”
Anna is helping to shepherd new young teachers into Spirit Rock Meditation Center, so that the legacy continues. They offer Buddhist meditation courses to families, teens, women, men, and Baby Boomers.
Dancing with Shadows:
A Conversation With Connie Zweig
Interview originally published in Psychology Today
For the past 30 years, Dr. Connie Zweig has been a pioneer in fields of shadow work and meditation practice. The founder of the Center for Shadow Work and Spiritual Counseling of the AIWP, she received her doctorate in depth psychology, trained at the Los Angeles Jung Institute, and has been in private practice in Los Angeles for over two decades, helping thousands of people detect unconscious sources of secret feelings and behaviors, and transform them into positive, constructive patterns. Dr. Zweig is the author of A Moth to the Flame, and co-author of two seminal books in the field, Meeting the Shadow and Romancing the Shadow. We spoke recently about the secret wisdom to be found in the shadow, and how to bring mindfulness to our forbidden zones, as well as compassion, on the path to of authenticity.
Mark Matousek: How should we think about authenticity when the “self” is made up of so many inconsistent parts?
Connie Zweig: We have all had the experience of a shadow character or part of ourselves erupting in spontaneous anger, lying, greed, or feelings of jealousy. We recognize the eruption in a critical comment we don’t mean to make, or in a repetitive fight with our partner, or some unacceptable behavior we can’t understand. Those parts are in all of us, and they are formed in our childhood through what psychology calls “defenses.” Sometimes those parts are repressed and sometimes they are projected onto others, but these forbidden feelings are unacceptable to our self-image and typically denied by the ego. “That’s immoral—I’d never do that,” or “That’s impolite.”
Most people are aware that there is some part of them correcting other parts, but they may not be aware of a higher self or what we could call an intuitive self. It’s the part that allows us to come back into equilibrium, and learn how to observe the shadow parts. To observe and do shadow work, we need the experience of being centered in a higher self. That is why our spiritual practice is so pivotal.
Without space inside our minds to observe forbidden feelings and behaviors, they take over. When they do, we feel controlled and overshadowed by them. For example, the moment you feel road rage and flip the finger at another driver, you lose your center and capacity to witness. In your anger, you’re unconsciously identified with that shadow figure. My work is about teaching people how to break that resultant unconscious identification of “I’m bad,” or “I’m an angry person,” and come back to the center. They learn to have a relationship with that part, and dialogue with that part, in order to recognize that it is not the essence of who they are as spiritual beings. And in this way, they connect to their authentic selves.
MM: Are you saying that without the ability to witness our thoughts the identification with our shadow is too strong for us not to be caught in destructive behavior?
Dr. Connie's The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul 